Monday, 13 June 2016

Little friends

So in today's news, as I try not to read anymore about the horrors in Orlando, I read instead about a story that took me back.
A few years back my trusty dark green Ford would not start.
Called the mechanic who got to work as I went back to the never-ending story of the laundry.
Soon after, there's a knock on the door and Ron poses the question "do you have a cat?"
Most certainly, I replied, I have Oscar the world's most delightful cat (now sadly in cat heaven).
"Do you feed it on your car bonnet?" he questioned.
"Are you crackers?" was my reply.
Ron then explained that he believed my car was being used regularly by RATS who were eating Oscar's food, squirming their disgusting hairy bodies under the bonnet of my car where it was snug and warm, regurgitating said food and eating it again. In the process, also using their ratty rat fangs on my wiring and rendering it stuffed! EEEkkkkk.

Ron beckoned me forward to examine my wiring, showing me the clumps of rotting stinky cat food attached to the wires. I looked for barely a second before taking off faster than Usain Bolt in case a furry face poked out at me.
Turns out the rats were also enjoying hospitality in my roof. You may ask what the most delightful cat was doing during this fun time for the rats. Not much it would seem.
The outcome? Car sold. House sold. Cat given stern talking to. *brushes hands together.
I am now advised that as of today Melbourne is officially undergoing a RAT PLAQUE. Something to do with the lack of rain or the end of civilisation. Rats as big as Fox Terriers (God help us) have been spotted prowling rubbish dumps and no doubt looking for warm cars.
Used to be the worst thing about going to a shopping centre car park was driving round and round stalking people to try and get a car park. Next thing will be the rats stalking too.

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